(Marysol writes on behalf of both of us) Today we announced our dream of “twins”. If you have stumbled on this page and have no idea what we are talking about, go read the announcement first. If you have read that already, we realize there are naturally questions that arise. We’ve already been asked these several times. We try our best to be honest & open about our lives while still maintaining a level of privacy. So, with that in mind here are some of those questions.

PREGNANCY QUESTIONS:

Did you plan on getting pregnant right after miscarrying?

No. Although medically we were free to, we didn't know when we would feel up to "trying again". So we do feel blessed that now we don't have to make that decision. We actually went to the doctor thinking something was wrong and I had not completely healed from the miscarriage. She ran some tests and called us with the news. We were dumbfounded when the explanation for everything was that we were pregnant again. Its a really wonderful surprise!

When are you due?

Sept 9, 2010.

How are you feeling?

I'm still in my first trimester, so its a rough ride. I'm nauseas, exhausted, or vomiting about 75% of the day and night. However, now that I have the context of a miscarriage, I'm so grateful for it because as my doctor says "this is a good sign!" And every time I'm sick, it is also a daily reminder to pray for our other baby's birthmother and whatever circumstance she might find herself in during her pregnancy.

Will you have the baby in South Africa?

Yes. It would be too complicated to travel back to the US for the birth, stay there, wait on a passport, return, and some how time that just right so we don't miss the call from the adoption agency. Talk about stressful! Plus our medical insurance does not cover a birth in the US, only in South Africa.

When you miscarried, did you consider tossing this whole idea  of "twins" out the window?

Although we had questions to contend with in our grief, strangely enough this is the one thing that both of us did not waiver on once. And we asked each other alot. Obviously our timing was thrown off and we wondered if/when it would ever happen. But we both felt strongly that to let this dream go would be the greatest blow to our hearts. 

Your place is tiny, will you be moving?

Yes! Maybe if there was just one baby coming we could stay here, but with two it would be chaotic. We are also not too sure how a place this small will pass a home-study visit from our social worker. We'll be moving to a bigger flat or house April 1st. We’re praying for the right place to open up. 

What if you are pregnant with twins?

We've already had an ultrasound just to be sure. There is one baby with one heartbeat!

ADOPTION QUESTIONS:

Why adopt?

This is a fair question but very difficult to answer in words. If you were to ask us why we want to have a biological child, we would be at a loss for how to describe it. How do you describe the desire to have children or make a baby? Since we were dating, we both wanted to adopt one day. It was always how we envisioned building our family.

    We affirm that adoption is a concept God came up with and is at the core of our salvation. It is something He destined before the foundation of the world. He made the same choice based firstly on love. (Eph. 1:3-5) Although we have no biological connection to Jesus, we are fully a part of the family of God through the sacred and final act of adoption. We'd love to point you to a great short video on the theology of adoption that will perhaps even make you think even more deeply about how special your relationship is to to God as his child.  

Did you start adopting because you miscarried or thought you might be infertile?

Not at all. Adoption was always in our hearts as much as getting pregnant. We actually began the adoption process before trying for our first pregnancy. Since we had this dream in mind of "the twins", we knew it would be good to get a head start on the paperwork.

Have you chosen a gender?

We haven't yet. We want a boy and a girl. Whenever we find out what which we are pregnant with, we will then inform our social worker that we want the opposite gender. This way, its all up to God and still a surprise to us how it will unfold. We'll be thrilled either way. 

How old will your baby be? 

An infant under 3 months old.

How close in age will the babies be?

Less than 3 months apart. We are hoping for as close together as possibly. They will try to match us with a baby that has a birthday as close as possible to our due date. We were straight up with our social worker from day one about this crazy idea we had. We poured out our hearts (and some tears) to her knowing full and well she had the power to tell us no. She looked at us and said "I don't think you are crazy at all. I stopped trying to dictate to God how He chooses to build families a long time ago. In fact, you are not the first family we've had do this." She then gave us the name and number of another family who did this that lives in our area! 

What ethnicity will your baby be?

We know this is an awkward question. But its not one we feel awkward answering. Both our babies will be South African in their own way. Our baby will be from a specific South African people group named "Coloureds". We recognize that word is loaded in many parts of the United States, but here that's a legitimate name for their people group or tribe. The majority of the people in the province of South Africa that we serve in (Western Cape) are Coloured. They have a vibrant, unique culture and great food! One reason we specifically chose to adopt a Coloured baby is because they share the same language as De Wet's family, Afrikaans. Language is a big value to us. We place a high priority on being able to pass on part of our baby's heritage through language. Thus I have yet another reason to keep studying hard!

When will you get to meet your baby or see a photo?

Only on the day of placement in our family, not beforehand. We can’t wait!

Tell me a bit more about how your adoption works. Why don't more people from the US adopt in South Africa? I thought an international adoption takes years?

We get questions like these alot especially from other families interested in adoption. Adoption in South Africa by Americans is tricky. Honestly we don't know enough about the topic to be much of a resource. It can be done but generally not by someone living in the US. You need to be living here, and even then it can be a huge challenge. We've celebrated some massive obstacles overcome with friends here who have done it. The thing that makes our adoption different is that De Wet is a South African and we are living here. We are not adopting as Americans. The laws lean in favor South African citizens adopting South African children. This is domestic adoption handled fully in South Africa. Much like someone adopting domestically in the United States. Once our child is adopted here and all the paperwork is in place here this legally is our child. Its done. However, after that, we will begin the process of formalizing it in the United States, so that our child is a dual citizen. 

Why did you choose to adopt from South Africa as opposed to somewhere else in the world?

We were open to an adoption from anywhere. However, the more we prayed about it and looked around we realized there are babies right here where we live. Maybe that was part of the plan of God having us here? Then realizing that there are so few adoptions (couple thousand) vs. children that need homes (couple million) happening in South Africa, largely in part to the legal structure and availability of parents. It was hard to ignore that God has given us a huge open door of opportunity with De Wet being South African. Being that this is a domestic adoption, it is also much more financial feasible for us. 

What do your families think?

They couldn't be happier! The grandmothers are thrilled to be able to shop for both boy & girl clothes from the beginning. For De Wet's parents these babies are their first grandchildren. For my parents, my brother is having the first grandchild in April. So 2010, is the year of 3 grandkids for them.

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